Subject: Postcard from Melting Snow in Louisville, KY

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Well, the temperature got up to 39 degrees early this morning and of course my thoughts turn to something I haven’t done since October of last year. And that was I decided to wash my van in the driveway. The van hasn’t been driven a lot this winter but still it was pretty filthy. And since I was going to be using it later in March to go to Washington D.C. with the “trip boys”, I decided to strike while the iron was hot, or in this case the weather was nice. This past week had been pretty bad weather wise, what with the 6+ inch snow on Monday and then the rest of the week being cloudy with temps in the teens and 20’s I figured I better get this done.

I use to wash all my cars by hand in the driveway during the winter and always prided myself in being able to do so. But alas, it’s been a few years since I’ve done that. While washing the van was not difficult, the thing that kept coming to mind was this is not nearly as much fun as it once was and why didn’t I have kids so they could doing this for me. Actually, scratch that, as I know several friends who do have kids and not a one of their kids would go out in the snow and wash a car for them. In fact, a few of them if they saw their dad washing a car would probably bring theirs over and get him to wash it too. Don’t make me name names. You know who you are…

Anyhow, the van is now washed and looking pretty good even if I do say so myself. Now, I’ve just got to get the interior spruced up and it will be ready for Washington. When I was moving it off the parking pad today I believe I heard the clinking of beer bottles in the back left over no doubt by the trip boys when they went to Mt Rushmore this past September. I guess it has been a while since I last used the van.

It’s been over 15 years since I last drove in D.C. and I know that’s going to be a challenge. I figure if I can get the trip boys to have at least 3 beers for breakfast before we head out (an easy task) they should be mellow enough to where they shouldn’t be too terrified of the dense traffic and my driving. At least that’s the plan. I’ll let you know how it works out.

It’s too bad The Barb wasn’t a drinker when I last lived in Washington because then should wouldn’t still be telling all those stories about my driving and how terrified she was to be my passenger. Yeah, and I can only imagine what it would’ve been like had she been driving…

Until next time,

Mike A.

Subject: Postcard from Lexington, KY

Thursday, February 18, 2010

I know, it seems just like a few months ago when I went to Lexington with Earl and Mike. I can’t remember the exact date but it was late last year. Today, we travelled to Lexington primarily to watch a basketball game in legendary Memorial Coliseum. The House that Rupp built. None of us had ever done that before and it’s been on our “list” for several years. As some of us are not getting any younger, okay, make that all of us, we decided to make the trip to see the UK women play Florida.

The day started off cold about 27 degrees and partly cloudy when we departed around 1:00PM. It eventually got to around 30 and we actually saw the sun for the first time in about 10 days. We arrived in Lexington around 2:15 and since the game was not until 7:00, we had some time so we toured campus. Just a casual note of observation but I suppose it finally hit home to all of us that we just aren’t as young as we used to be because walking around campus not a single coed would look at us. Not a SINGLE one!! That’s disheartening, especially for Earl. I took it fairly well though. Actually, that’s not true what I just said about the coeds. I was able to get two coeds to talk to me. That was the two times we stepped inside buildings to ask for the restrooms. Yep, I’ve still got it. Oh, and one other thing about those campus restrooms; the art-work is a lot more graphic than what I remember when I was back in school.

At 4:00pm we met Mike’s daughter Katie at a local pub downtown for dinner. It was named Pazzo’s; a great place and very good food. We had pizza (what else would you have just off-campus?). It was Katie’s birthday (Exactly, one month after Cary Grant’s, you can look it up) which we celebrated by getting Earl to pick up the tab and Mike paid the tip. I just love it going out on Katie’s birthday as I never have to pay for my OWN dinner! That shared parenting deal that Mike and Earl have worked out seems to work pretty well and I’m sure Portia would be proud. I’m coming back here next year. As it was getting close to game time, the three of us headed down the street to Memorial Coliseum for the game. A short 3 block walk. Within 5 seconds of getting inside, Earl spies a free t-shirt giveaway and goes bananas getting one and promptly loses his ticket. Apparently, you can’t take old people anywhere. In the future, I will keep the tickets for safekeeping.

The only thing we missed on this trip was going back to ALLtech’s downtown brewery for another tour and taste sampling. I’m sure we will include that on the list the NEXT time we are in town and this time I’m getting MY picture with Anne!!

Until next time,

Mike A.

Subject: Postcard from Snowy Louisville, KY

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Awoke today to 6+ inches of snow and temps in the low teens. It’s has been exactly a week since I came back from warm and sunny Florida and I was thinking that the warm glow would last longer but apparently I was wrong. When I was working I would look at a 6 inch snow as a fun challenge. Now I look outside and wonder just how quickly I can get back to Florida. At least my snow blower worked well and The Barb is happy because for once I actually cleared the driveway instead of guilting her into doing it. I’m sure the novelty will soon wear off and I’ll be back to scheming how to get her to do it.

Of course Pilar, ever the flight risk, took this opportunity to explore parts of the neighborhood she never gets to normally visit. It took longer to round her up than it took to clear the driveway.

I need to warm up. Wonder if any of the hotels close by have Jacuzzis in the rooms?

Until next time

Mike A.

Subject: Postcard from Florida--#1

The following postcards are from my 18 day trip to Florida in January of 2010. I took this trip with The Barb and we visited Orlando for a week and then went on a cruise for 8 days where we stopped at St Maarten, St Thomas, San Juan and Haiti. Then we drove back home.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Port of Call: Leaving Louisville on Friday. Travel day to Auburn, AL

Yes, I'm sitting in my room in Auburn Alabama using my new birthday present which was giving to me last night (A Netbook or a "mini" laptop for those of you that are not up-to-date with the new technology like me...). This is our first stop on the trip to Florida as we will stay here and attend the UK game (with Ashley!!) today.

Anyhow, back to ME and my birthday. I'm not really liking this new technology that much because The Barb has been sitting in this hotel room for the past two hours doing g-mail with her family. First she was doing it on her iPod 'Touch' and now on MY Netbook as the keyboard is better. Had this been in the "old technology" days, I would've already been out sightseeing for two hours instead of staying in the hotel room being a slave to email technology. I’m already missing my paper journal. Earl, I need one…

Anyhow, since The Barb has barricaded herself in the bathroom for the "morning constitutional", I’ve got a few minutes (okay, hours) to crank out this email, so back to ME...

I purchased the iPod Touch for The Barb about 8 days ago in anticipation of her birthday later this month. Actually, it was the easiest gift I ever purchased as one day I was walking through the office at home and The Barb says to sit down at the main computer and press "Accept" on the Amazon screen. I asked what I was doing and she said "You are going to purchase my birthday present". I had never heard of an iPod Touch but felt quite the shopper when I saw how much it cost. Actually, when I found out I said something that I shouldn’t mention here. She said if I didn't purchase it for her birthday then she was going to get it anyway, and besides then I would have to find something else to get for her birthday. (Actually, I was thinking of getting her nothing as I figured the retirement cruise was good enough...) Here it was only two days into her retirement and she is spending money like a drunken sailor, or Earl, what is that word Mike uses for your spending habits?

So, one day before this trip her new iPod Touch shows up.

On Friday, as I was packing the car, I see this wrapped present for me which she says to load into the car. I said I didn't want to take whatever the present was on the trip as it would just get in my way, plus I wasn't aware I needed a birthday present since I thought the cruise was... Well, you know how well that didn't work the last time so I just put the present in the car and went on.

All was going along pretty well on the trip until we were passing through Nashville and that's when I started analyzing what my present might be that was wrapped and in the trunk. That was where this trip literally went south as it took me all of 75 seconds to figure out what was in the present. In fact, it took me less time than that as I got it on the first guess. And even though The Barb had on sunglasses and I couldn't see her eyes, I could tell by her muscles on her face that I had nailed it. I've still got it and am still a pretty good analyst even at 65 mph and dodging traffic going through Nashville.  

As I said that's when the trip went downhill as The Barb starting ranting on me as how I ALWAYS am able to guess the presents she has wrapped by just shaking the box or in this case just thinking about what might be wrapped in the trunk and coming with me on this trip. Actually, I don't guess them 100% of the time as my success rate is closer to 75-80%... She calls me "Monk" which somehow I find complimentary.

Well, she got over the ranting after about 100 miles. And to think I didn’t even know I needed a netbook…

So, now that I have my new netbook to use on my travels I should be able to keep my "postcards" updated without my manual journal plus I can send emails from time-to-time using this gmail account which came with my blog page.

Now, don't look for any new postcards on my blog as I'll probably not do the actual updates until I get back.

And though I've looked at these netbooks at SAMS recently, I didn't really pay attention to how much they cost but I'm thinking it wasn't cheap which means if this spending trend continues I will need to be dead by 75 or else I'll run out of money.

Tomorrow we head out for Orlando.

Yaris Watch: Earl, Friday we saw a blue/grey sedan as it blew past us on I-65.

Mike (Formerly, Detective Columbo, but now "Monk") A...

Subject: Postcard from Florida--#2

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Port of Call: Orlando, FL

It's amazing what a few months will do to your psyche. Yesterday, I awoke to gray, windy skies with a temp of 54 degrees. It eventually got to be 55 for the day with rain all day. Today it is still cloudy (6:30am) and the temp is 55. All day yesterday I was out in the weather and with the exception of the one time when I opened my car door and the wind blew it out of my hand, I was just fine with the weather and felt it was rather pleasant for this time in January. However, back in August when I was vacationing in northern Michigan with the temps the same as they are now, I was whining and b@#$%$#@ (rhymes with witching) my head off the whole time. That probably qualifies The Barb for some sort of medal.

Of course, after visiting SAMS yesterday (A tradition on ANY road trip...) and finding out what these Netbooks cost I'm back to (use that witching word) my head off...

The Barb is only into her second week of retirement and at this spending rate I better start looking for a good mobile home to live in...

I am now in Orlando having driven down from Auburn in a very high wind. Had to keep two hands on the wheel at all times. Temp hit 70 late in the afternoon just as we were getting into central Florida. It was a long day’s drive taking about 10 hours what with stops and all. Actually we were doing okay on the drive until about 25 miles away from our final destination when we encountered a backup on the turnpike due to an accident. Nothing like ending a long day’s drive with an accident that takes up 50 minutes of your time.

Will be going to Sea World Monday which is only about 5 minutes from our “Tuscany Village” like vacation condos. These are at the Hilton Grand Vacation Club on International Drive (A mouthful, just call it the Hilton Tuscany Village like I do) We are staying on the top floor (7th). I’m not sure about the actual Tuscany region of Italy, but somehow I’m thinking 7 floor villas is not something you will find there. ...And working toilets... We have working toilets.

Since we are staying at a Hilton Resort I’ve been spending the last two days bonding with Paris. Since we both have such busy lifestyles we often get others to do our bidding for us. You know the menial tasks; running errands; washing our clothes; shoveling the snow from the driveway (Thanks, Barb…). However, in some situations Paris and I have to do it for ourselves so for that “just stepped off the beach” look, Paris has recommended I try out her special friend, which is tan in a bottle. I’ve been trying it for the past two days. I’m not sure why Paris likes it as it smells and turns my skin orange. However, if this is what it takes to get me to look like Paris then so be it. I’ve even developed this disgusted look I use when I’m in the elevator with others so they will be confused as to where the odor is coming from.

Yaris Watch: Saw a white sedan today on the drive down.

Subject: Postcard from Florida--#3

Monday, January 18, 2010

Port of Call: Orlando, FL

Today, the high was 65 and sunny so we toured Sea World. I was wondering where all the gorgeous Florida women were while at Sea World. Mostly saw just normal tourists. But after spending time watching the local news I have found them!! Turns out every local TV station has a smokin’ hot female weather forecaster. The one I’m partial to is named Sabrina (probably not her real name…). I think she has been enhanced through the marvels of modern medicine. If health care reform means more young woman will be able to take this road then what’s not to like? I may have to move to Florida permanently.

Went shopping last night at the Publix which is across the street from the condo. If I grow tired of retirement, I can always move down here and join the other retirees who work at Publix as baggers. Seems the younger people do the “skilled” jobs as cashiers. They are a happy lot.

Monday’s Yaris watch: A silver sedan.

Subject: Postcard from Florida--#4

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Port of Call: Orlando, FL

I am now sitting at the dining room table in my very spacious (850sf) Tuscany Villa Condo/Bungalow. (Can you call it a bungalow if it is on the 7th floor?) Anyhow, it's a pretty nice place and far much larger than the 95sf cabin I will have on the cruise ship next week. That’s about as big as the combo bathroom/Jacuzzi I have in the Condo. I might as well use and enjoy the amenities while I have them.

For tonight, enjoy means that I have spent the past 45 minutes in the in-room Jacuzzi and now look like a cooked lobster. I’m not sure but I definitely think I set the water temperature too hot on this thing as there are now parts of me wishing they had not made this trip and had stayed back in Kentucky. And can you suffer permanent harm sitting in the hot Jacuzzi for that long while downing two glasses of wine?

The Barb is pretty pleased with herself after picking this place out and getting such a good deal on it from her Hilton Honors Gold Club membership. This room didn't cost any more than the place we had in Sheridan, WY and it even comes with a working smoke detector. I should travel with The Barb more often.

When she saw the Jacuzzi she immediately wanted to use it on the first night. She said it was a "two person" Jacuzzi and was giving me the guilt trip so I would use it with her. (for the squeamish among you, you don't have to read any further). After sizing up the situation I determined that no, it was not a two person Jacuzzi, at least not for the two of us, unless you wanted to only have two inches of water, so I declined. Tonight was my first night in the Jacuzzi and I was able to do that as The Barb was preoccupied with doing postcards (the old fashioned way) in the dining room.

The reason she wanted to try out the Jacuzzi together was she was nostalgic having watched that movie recently about baseball where Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins shared the tub together. Ha, and you see what happened to them!! Oh, wait a minute... Barb! Oh, Barb!!... perhaps I can join you in the Jacuzzi...

One final item and then I'll call it a night.

Every day on this trip we have set out each morning seeing who could spot the first Yaris. Today, we found one within the first 5 minutes on the road. The Barb remarked it was getting too easy so we should stop this game or else make it harder somehow. Tomorrow we will start looking for the ones without the sticking gas pedals. That would be the ones not going past us at 100 mph.

Subject: Postcard from Florida--#5

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Port of Call: Orlando, FL

I'm starting to get the hang of this netbook as well as gmail and am liking it pretty well. As for the email address of "Master.Abell", The Barb set this up and since my name was already taken she just picked this one out of the blue. I'm sure it was done just after one of my rare bossy days around the house. For those of you wondering, it has nothing to do with S&M or Bondage.

This day started off at 45 degrees but ended up at 75 and sunny. Just, beautiful. We just returned from another day at Sea World. Even though it was 45 when we pulled into the Sea World parking lot, there was no wind and it felt like a very "warm" 45 so I just went without a jacket and never felt cold all day. It eventually got to 75 for the day.

The nice thing about these multi-day Sea World passes is that you don't feel rushed trying to take it all in, in just one day. We did some things on Monday as for the shows but didn't see them all as we knew we would be back again this week. Since I brought my weather clock and it works down here, I was able to pick out the best days to go. The rest of the week looks warm save for some rain on Thursday. Now, after two very leisurely days at Sea World, we have seen it all and don't have to go back. Thursday and Friday will be spent relaxing around the Tuscany Villa complex and perhaps going shopping at the big outlet mall. The mall borders the property so we can walk to that.

I'm really starting to like Florida especially Sea World. After being there for two days I'm starting to notice the different nationalities of the tourists. There are a lot of Mediterranean people here, especially Spanish, Italians and Portuguese. Some Germans and Brits too and even a few Eastern Europeans and from Brazil and other South American countries. But mostly I’m noticing Spanish and Italians. It's so I can spot the Spanish women right off as they tend to dress in painted on blue jeans or some stretchy leotard like pants. I really like those leotards. Unfortunately, since it's been on the cool side the tops they have selected are for warmth and not for show. I'm sure come summer they will be out in some very nice looking tops to go with the stretchy pants. I think I will have to plan a trip to Spain when it’s warmer.

I may have to revise my estimate of the square footage of this place. It may be closer to 1000 sf. And since I don't have to pay the electric bill the heat goes UP at night when I'm trying out the Jacuzzi.

I'm also starting to like that Jacuzzi and the wine. I see my wine bottle is about to run out so I'm sending The Barb back over to Publix for more. I'm trying the Sangria this next time.

Again, saw my first Yaris within 3 minutes of leaving the complex.

Subject: Postcard from Florida--#6

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Port of Call: Orlando, FL

Life does not get any better than this. Last night we spent the evening relaxing around the condo. It was such a pleasant night (72 degrees at 7:00pm) that I walked over to the exercise room and did 2 miles on the treadmill. Then came back to the room and enjoyed the Jacuzzi and two glasses of wine. That makes two nights in a row I've done the Jacuzzi and wine is almost gone again. At this rate it may be more economical if I have her purchase it by the box rather than the bottle. I'm not sure what she thinks about this new relaxed me as I heard her mumble I was turning into my dad. (And she should be SO lucky…)

I may not do the Jacuzzi on Thursday night as both nights I came out looking like a cooked lobster. I definitely think I may have this water too hot.

Today is going to be a day around the condo and the shopping outlet mall that is next door.

Thursday Evening 5:30.

This evening it is 81 degrees outside and cloudy at 5:30PM. Rain will be coming into the area within the next hour. Today has been a partly cloudy and windy day but very nice. We just spent the past two hours out in the whirlpool by the pool. I now know I've been setting the water temp too hot for the Jacuzzi in the room as the whirlpool was warm but at least 30 degrees cooler. No wonder I've been looking like a lobster the past two nights. Plus, I don't have to do those "Man gyrations" when I get into the whirlpool like I was doing in the Jacuzzi to, well, I won't explain it...

The whirlpool was filled with a lot of people (it was a BIG hot tub) and a few parents with pre-school age children. We sat by a couple just a few years younger than us. When we got to talking with them we found out they are from Louisville as well!! What an odd coincidence. It's kind of funny because when we took our first trip to Florida back in 1984, we toured Disney World and during lunch sat beside a family that was from the same Maryland town we were living in at that time. In fact, they had pulled their children out of school for this trip and one of the kid’s teachers was the wife of the guy who sat next to me at work. As the Disney ride says; "It's a Small World!"

Subject: Postcard from Florida--#7

Thursday, January 21, 2010 The Evening Rant

Port of Call: Orlando, FL

I wasn’t going to put this in my blog but a few weeks ago I was ranting to my email pals about how I wasted 2.5 hours of my life seeing the movie "Watchmen" (free, on HBO. Thank God, I didn't pay for that...). I was lamenting how now that I'm retired I really have become offended when something like that happens as I now view my time as a gift. Odd, but back when I was working I didn't think of it that way. When we showed up at this condo complex on Sunday, The Barb went to check us in while I watched over the luggage. Turns out she was excited about getting this special promo on "cheap" Sea World tickets as all she had to do was agree to us going to a 90 minute timeshare/vacation club presentation. My red flags immediately went off but I kept quiet, knowing the damage was already done. Well, the presentation was today at 8:00AM as I wanted the early time slot so it wouldn't interfere with our day. You do the math, 8:00AM plus 90 minutes gets us out of there at 9:30, 10:00 at the latest. Well, at 11:30ish we finally convinced them we wouldn't be purchasing a condo with them. Well, ANOTHER 4 hours of my life I will never get back and I'm blaming The Barb. The only thing that made this half-way bearable is that the sales person was from Brazil and she was very pleasant to look at.

After that it was back to the room for some more ranting and lunch. Then we walked over to the outlet shopping mall. If you remember when I went to Mt Rushmore I was seeing "Old People" everywhere? Well, at this shopping mall (Like Sea World) I was seeing foreign tourists everywhere. About 70% of the conversations I heard were in a foreign language. Instead of seeing the cute Spanish women in the stretchy pants I was now seeing their moms. And no stretchy pants. We did see a lot of younger people too but just in a different setting than Sea World. For some reason the foreign tourists were just enamored with purchasing luggage. There were several luggage shops at that mall and I saw them carrying out some big bags. International travel must be hard on your bags. I saw some of the prices at the Samsonite store and these babies were going for $300 to $500. Too bad they didn't know about SAMS because they could get the same thing there for a lot less. Trust me on this…

Got to sign off now as The Barb is going to make it up to me for this morning's adventure by taking me out to dinner. We'll see how long it takes the waiter to bring me my food. If I'm not happy with it then I'm taking a page out of Carlos' book...

Subject: Postcard from Florida--#8

Friday, January 22, 2010

Port of Call: Orlando, FL

Today is our last day in the condo as Saturday we will head down to Miami to start our cruise. The morning started off at 69 degrees with lots of clouds as the storms came through the area last night but are moving out now.

This morning went to SAMS for some much needed shopping. Turns out, the digital age of photography is becoming a tad more of a hassle than I thought. When I purchased my first digital camera I thought "great, now I can travel light" since I didn't need to carry all those film cartridges around. Well, it turns out that in addition to the camera you need to bring a spare memory chip and also a spare battery. Still, not as bad as the old 35mm days. But then The Barb needs to take along a PC so she can download the thousands of pictures, for "safe keeping". Now, it turns out that she wants to get an external hard drive to backup the backup that is on the PC. Hence, the trip to SAMS.

Did I mention that The Barb has taken over 1300 pictures in just the first 4 days of the trip? And I thought cub reporter Earl was the master picture taker. I told you The Barb is the more worthy adversary. In her defense she says; “But some of them were awesome pictures…”

I think I'm going to need a larger car.

While driving around Orlando, we see mostly the same retail stores they have back home with one exception. Down here they have numerous Sony Outlet Stores. They are everywhere and more common than gas stations. Outside my condo villa there are 3 of them within 1/2 mile on the same street. My curiosity got the better of me and I went into one to see what they had. Basically they are the same electronic stores you would find in NYC’s electronic shopping district, selling mostly outdated electronic merchandise at high prices. I’m not sure why there are so many as why would anyone spend money there when they can get the same items cheaper elsewhere. I’m thinking “money laundering” so I leave before I become part of a sting operation. Nothing will mess up a vacation quicker than being part of a sting operation (or, so I’m told…).

Subject: Postcard from Florida--#9

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Port of Call: Driving day to Fort Lauderdale for cruise ship boarding

This morning we left the condo at 8:00AM for the drive down to the cruise ship. The temperature was 56 but it felt much warmer than the August Michigan trip. Don’t know why that is. Perhaps the palm trees and sunny skies make it so.

Approximately, 30 seconds into the drive I encounter a blue Yaris hatchback coming towards me in the parking lot. Wonder how many I will spot out at sea?

Once we made it to the port terminal we were queued up for security check-in. A pretty standard procedure for the cruise ship trade. I was busy managing my carry-on bags and the next thing I know security guards are coming from all directions and have surrounded The Barb. Apparently, she was taking pictures inside the terminal which is a security No-No. They made her delete the offending pictures and then we were on our way. With the speed with which she takes pictures that was probably 150 or so. In her defense, some of them were just “Awesome” pictures…

Subject: Postcard from Florida--#10

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Port of Call: Day at Sea

I never made it to the treadmill last night, having taken 2 Dramamine which pretty much knocked me out.

At 7:15AM this morning I again went down to the treadmills only to find them full and people waiting in line. I then went to the outside walking track and found that the gale force winds prevented me from walking forward (but going the other direction was a lot of fun). When the deck chairs started blowing by I took that as a “sign” and went back inside. Thank God, for the Dramamine. I might be a little woozy but at least I’m managing the sea sickness and carry-on as normal.

While going back to my cabin I walked through the shopping promenade which was still closed. At one of the shops I saw a sign saying “Save over $1000 When You Buy Two”. Hmmm, I figured I could save even more by buying none… This is the second largest cruise ship class in the world but still not big enough to have a SAMS on board. I believe they are missing out on a huge opportunity.

I don’t know why, but every time The Barb sees me writing in my journal she thinks it’s about her. I think she’s becoming paranoid. I can deal with it though as over the years I’ve developed an acute sense of “selective listening”. It’s a trait that’s served me well.

Subject: Postcard from Florida--#11

Monday, January 25, 2010

Port of Call: Day at Sea

Cruising at 20 knots into an 80kmh headwind. So much for the walking track again today. Sometime during the night the ship began it’s “rocking and rolling”. I felt it in bed. (“What did I do now?” Asks The Barb as she sees me writing again… Yep, she’s paranoid). It’s going to be another FUN day at sea.

I again took my Dramamine last night which put me promptly to sleep. I think I’ve over medicated on the Dramamine. I’m not sure what “Roofies” feel like but I’m thinking Dramamine might be close as I awoke this morning with absolutely no recollection of last evening. I halfway expected to see a chicken in the room (you’ll have to see the movie…) I keep looking for it but nothing so far. The Barb wakes up with a silly grin on her face but it turns sour quickly when she finds out I’ve no recollection of last night. You know, Heather Graham was much more pleasant in the movie and such a sweetie. Definitely a keeper. I decide no more Dramamine for me.

Another thing that went overboard yesterday was my diet. There is free food just everywhere so I did the only logical thing and gave in. I have made it my personal goal to sample every dessert on this ship. Should have brought along some bigger clothes.

And yesterday was an enjoyable day on deck. I spent about 30 minutes in the whirlpool where there was an Italian couple with their 20 year old daughter. She was a cutie in a polka dot bikini. Apparently her family was not very well off as they couldn’t afford more material for her bikini. Oh, well…

Subject: Postcard from Florida--#12

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Port of Call: St Maarten

I was all set to find the nude beach today but then I went to the whirlpool on Monday for our second day-in-a-row. In the whirlpool there was a cute blonde already there with her group. A little while later when she got out I noticed her yellow bikini which when wet was utterly transparent!!! OMG!! I almost drown when my mouth hit the water and took on probably 2 gallons of water before I realized what had happened. Why doesn’t anyone tell her about her bathing suit? Oh, never mind, that’s a stupid question. I don’t think I need to find the nude beach as I’m now going to be spending all my time in the whirlpool. The Barb likes playing board games so she can go up to the game room and spend her time for all I care. I think this is my best cruise ever.

Subject: Postcard from Florida--#13

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Port of Call: St Thomas

After spending yesterday in downtown St Maarten, we returned to the ship for the customary time in the whirlpool. Score is now two days-in-a-row with young females in transparent suits. Why didn’t someone tell me about this?!! I just wasted the past 30 years travelling all 50 states when I should have been spending it all in Florida and on cruise ships. A lot has changed in 30 years. This is definitely something you don’t see at Mt Rushmore.

If this keeps up I don’t think I brought enough tip money with me. I hope there is an ATM on board.

Subject: Postcard from Florida--#14

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Port of Call: San Juan

Prices are cheaper here than either of the two previous ports. They sell cold bottled water on the dock for $1. You can’t even do that good back home. It’s in the low 80’s and very windy here as we are now on the Atlantic side. Actually, every stop has had just great weather with the temps in the high 70’s to low 80’s. The sun is a lot more intense here than it was in Florida. I’m trying out my newest Tilley hat (UPF 50+) seeing if it will be a good choice for India. So far it’s kept the sun off my head and kept my hair dry and cool. A great purchase. Thank you Tilley.com!!

I’ve noticed on all the islands that there are no fudge shops like I found up in Michigan last August. I suppose that’s because 15 seconds after hitting the sidewalk the fudge would probably melt. We were all set to tour India sometime later this year but I’m getting a little concerned. On all the islands, I found that a lot of the tourist shops were run by Indians. If we don’t hurry up and tour India soon there may not be anyone left.

Earl, you will be happy to know that the Yaris must be the official car of the Islands as they are just everywhere out here. I haven’t seen any Sonatas and that’s too bad because I’ve definitely seen a lot of people who would like one.

San Juan looks more like a real city rather than a tourist stop. There is a ‘Caribe Hilton’ here that looks like a nice place to stay for an extended visit. If I come back I will go search for Teddy’s hill.

After getting back on ship it was another afternoon in the whirlpool. I should tell you my strategy for the whirlpool (well, you know, other than wearing very dark glasses.) I’ve found that within 10 seconds of getting out of the whirlpool I HAVE TO GO TO THE RESTROOM!!! (And you thought we could go all through these postcards without ANY bathroom stories?). That could be a very embarrassing situation but I found a good solution. The men’s bathrooms are all on the port side of the ship while the women’s are on the starboard side. My solution is to use the whirlpool on the port side which is only 6 seconds from the bathroom (Yes, I timed it). So, with any luck I can easily become comfortable again within 10 seconds. Those are the longest 10 seconds of the cruise.

Frank, the above picture is for you as I know you are a stickler for proper use of the English language.  This picture was taken from the washroom on the 14th floor of the boat.  Thanks for not being critical of my postcards as I know there are improvements I could've made in my grammar and punctuation but then that would be too much like work and since no one is actually paying me...